Can You Allow Yourself to Mess Up? Let’s Talk About Perfectionism and How to Open Yourself Up to More Magic in Your Life and Business (Ep. 11)

As soon as I finished editing this episode of Hustle Heart, I texted my best friends to tell them not just that I would love for them to listen to this episode, but that I need them to.

Here’s why: for years, I've been telling them about how I’m filled with fears—about work, money, my relationship with my now ex, my family, and my future. It feels like I haven’t had a moment of peace in my mind in the last two or three years. They can relate.

It wasn’t until I had a really honest and heart-opening chat with Alex, the host of this show, that I realized these fears were a symptom of something bigger.

I’ve always wanted to do everything as perfectly as possible, even if that meant that one simple task took me ages to complete. I didn't know that that need for praise and for being seen as a “good girl” was a symptom of the perfectionist within me. 

I didn't even know that leading my life and business from this perfectionist version of me wouldn’t let me dream or embrace the magic of creating the reality I desire.

In this episode, Alex talks about perfectionism, what it means, and how to identify that trait in your own life experience. Stay for the whole episode, because she also dives into how sacred it is for the feminine creative energy to step away from perfectionism and embrace experiment, joy, and excitement. 

I don’t want to spoil the rest because this episode is packed with magic. If you can relate, this is a must-listen. 

Here you can find some of this episode’s takeaways: 

• Perfectionism is driven by fear and the need for control.
• Practicing and allowing yourself to make mistakes is essential for mastering a craft.
• Balancing masculine and feminine energy in business is important for creativity and success.
• Self-trust is crucial for personal and professional growth.
• Letting go of perfectionism and embracing uniqueness leads to self-empowerment.

Chapters: 

00:00 Introduction and Invitation to Play

04:02 Embracing Imperfection and Mastery

06:28 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energy

08:51 The Power of Self-Trust

12:25 Letting Go of Perfectionism and Embracing Uniqueness

18:18 Choosing the Dream and Rewriting the Rules

25:46 Nurturing the Good and Appreciating Life

28:00 Taking Action and Moving Towards Greatness


Love, 
Cinthya Creativa. 
Alex's Podcast Manager.

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Chapters

• 0:00 An invitation to play
• 4:02 Embracing Imperfection and Mastery
• 6:28 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energy
• 8:51 The Power of Self-Trust
• 12:25 Letting Go of Perfectionism and Embracing Uniqueness
• 18:18 Choosing the Dream and Rewriting the Rules
• 25:46 Nurturing the Good and Appreciating Life
• 28:00 Taking Action and Moving Towards Greatness

Transcript

Alex (00:00.49)
Yes, we are here. The latest episode of the Hustle Hard podcast. And I am so excited and truly so honored and so grateful to have you here with me because this is, I reckon, the 10th episode.

I'm doing something different this episode. I'm doing this little experiment because hey, this is my playground and with that there's a little invitation here for you as well to see your business, see life as your playground and to give yourself permission to play. To make it light, to make it fun, to call in the magic.

So up until now, know, and I think everything we're starting new because the topic of this episode is perfectionism. And I've been talking to a lot of women about it.

and a thing with perfectionism.

is that I would argue it is the thing that blocks you the most and I want to explain

Alex (01:21.634)
Perfectionism, you know, when you pull down the curtain, when you look at it, it's often driven by fear. Not often. All the time there's fear. There's the fear of overachieving, outperforming. You know, it needed to be perfect. It needed to be... So you do more. You do extra.

And we all love a little extra. But personality, that is, right? But when we make it lean, and that's also this experiment of today, is that normally, you know, I sit myself down for episode, every episode, and I have a topic already in mind, and I make notes. And with notes, there's already a lot coming through me of what I wanna say.

Alex (02:15.746)
But that sometimes, that can be perfectionism at play as well. Because when we narrow ourselves down, that we over...

Alex (02:31.522)
We over prepare, that's the word, we over prepare. Because what is over preparation signaling? Often when we over prepare, there's a layer of fear, the fear of not saying the right thing, the fear of missing, not making an impact, not hitting home. And so we over prepare.

So when you peel that down, there's lack of trust. Lack of trust of ourselves. Lack of confidence. The fear that it won't be enough. The fear of, I'm not

Sometimes it can be so subtle because there is a turning point there because of course it's so important to prepare and its purpose. Of course it's so important to have something that looks nice or aesthetically friendly, you know? So where does it end?

Alex (03:33.454)
So this is also part of that experiment, know, and part of that invitation to you, where you allow yourself to play, but also allow yourself to mess up. Allow yourself for it to be messy. Allow yourself for it to be less than perfect, because how do you think you will master your craft? You know, and I gave this example the other day as well, is that...

For example, like I love sporting as an example. For example, you're taking on boxing or you're taking on yoga.

How do you get well at something? How do you become extremely good?

You do it by practicing. You're doing it by putting in the hours. So the first time you go in, know, whether that boxing, whether that's yoga, whether that's painting, whether that is recording a podcast, whether that is showing up live on Instagram, it's your Instagram post, is whatever, whatever you have a tendency to desire to be perfect at, practice makes perfect.

And anyone and literally anyone on this world, even Srold's greatest. If you look at their day one, like day one.

Alex (05:02.592)
Obviously, they're not the master they are now.

They put in the work and that is practicing. Doing it over and over and over again. So this podcast, this being, I guess, the 10th episode. Of course, if you listen to, if I listen to my first, it will never be as good as number 100. There is a natural evolution there. When you allow yourself

when you allow yourself to experiment, you allow yourself to be guided as well.

And this is where the divine comes in as well, particularly here in this personal experiment. Is that when

Alex (05:58.932)
Over prepare. There's also this need to control. When there's this need to control because you desire to be perfect, there is no space for magic. When you have your whole life or your whole business mapped out, planned out, there is no room for magic. When you're all the time up in your head planning, organizing,

having the goals, know, and overthinking your next steps, there is no space for magic. Magic is found when we let go of control, when we trust, when we surrender.

So specifically this podcast, you know, talking about perfection, I was like, right, I'm going to ditch all notes. I'm going to ditch all the things. I'm going to call out for guidance and I'm going to let the divine work through me. That whatever is needed for me to hear, for you to hear, for me to say.

Can I trust myself that I will hit the right notes?

that can, in all the ways, dance to the rhythm of my own beat. And that is for you as

Alex (07:27.308)
And here's something funny, you know, talking about divine guidance. Because this question as well, like, how do I expand my intuition? Like, how do I trust my divine guidance? what is it even? Divine guidance feels expansive. You know, our intuition is expansive. It is moving us towards our dreams. It's moving us forward. It's very empowering, even though when it can be scary.

our fear, our ego, it's that voice you know we can also say like that's part of our inner child that's protection it's protecting us it's keeping us small from protection because comfort zones is safe so fear is often literally it feels small it's the what if it goes wrong like what if it fails like what if i'm not good enough what if i'm not i don't know enough and therefore you hold

Intuition is expansive, it's grand. It's like, know what? I've never done it, but I'm gonna try it and I'm gonna take the leap and I'm gonna

Alex (08:39.148)
And I'm going to trust that I'm going to learn the lessons as I go. Hmm. That's a very different approach than control.

and having it all figured out, having it all mapped out, having it all booked. So there is certainly in business, know, the masculine, you know, that's the strategy. The masculine is the plan. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. So there's element of that truth.

But then also, on top of that, can you give yourself space to move? And that's the feminine energy. The feminine energy is creation. So the masculine, then we have the goal, and then the feminine, you create it. And you need space. It takes surrender. It takes that deep self -trust. takes being in touch and connected with yourself. That takes space spaciousness.

So we can play. And this balance, this balance is different for everyone and it also takes practice. Especially when you are playing in your masculine loads. You know, this used to be me. The perfectionist. The control freak.

overthinking, over analyzing, know, needing to understand it all, know it all, do it all, do it all, the hustle, the grind, like only feeling valid, validated, you know, when I worked hard, needing to work hard, needing to prove myself, you know, that's all the wounded side.

Alex (10:38.668)
The other side is the feminine, but we get to gradually, you know, because that's again, that's the practice there. Practice make perfect. So you don't jump from one end of the stick to the other. It's such a personal divine journey, like a spiritual journey, literally to ignite and activate that feminine power and that feminine power that we hold all of us.

You hold that feminine power. You have that feminine fire burning in you.

Alex (11:17.674)
All it takes you is to get up and speak.

Get up and create.

Alex (11:31.47)
So what is it you can do?

Alex (11:38.094)
Be open towards this question. What can you do today? What can you do this week that feels like play? And feels scary and feels out of your comfort zone.

but it calls you and it feels exciting and it feels expansive and then can you ditch the rules? Can you ditch the should'ves? Can you ditch how it's supposed to look? Can you ditch how it's supposed to be? And just get yourself out there, get yourself moving. That is what builds momentum.

Alex (12:25.144)
Perfectionism lets us play safe. Because who are we trying to be perfect for?

Alex (12:36.5)
I would argue, fuck ups, messiness, the human side of running your business, the human side of life, like humaning, where we fall and we rise and we share the hero's journey, that makes you far more relatable. And I know this from...

personal experience as well that when I tried you know and I always explain that when you put on that mask of someone who has it all together has it all figured out you know or you're trying to say the words of what other people are telling you to say aka Instagram the captions the videos you know I've been true to all of that

But it dims your light and it dims your uniqueness. I know I spoke about this in the last episode all about being seen and being heard. But I cannot emphasis, emphasize, emphasize enough.

important it is and how much perfectionism is dimming your light.

Alex (14:00.79)
And here's another thing that came up this morning as well. Where are you giving away your power? Because perfectionism, you know, just like I said, who are you trying to be perfect for? So you're giving away your power to something or someone outside of yourself. The fear.

because what will people think of me? So how useful is that?

Alex (14:37.336)
So sometimes we give our power away to coaches, to mentors, to partners, to friends. Like where are you giving away your power?

People tell you what to do, how to feel, how to act, how to be.

Where are you giving away your power?

The place?

that's not talked about enough that is such an energy leak and

Alex (15:14.168)
big place where you can give away your power is the power to your past. The power to your past because it wasn't perfect. The power to your past because you got hurt. The power to your past.

because it didn't look.

like what you deserved and it hurt you and maybe you feel like it broke you and if it wasn't for that you would have been further ahead

Alex (15:51.682)
but further ahead according to who.

Alex (15:59.118)
Like this is again giving away your power to your past, but also how it's all supposed to be. Because then you look outside, you know, and Instagram now, our world is so much bigger than it used to be like 50 years ago, 100 years ago. And we look at people that seemingly have it all together and seemingly are quote unquote further ahead.

But what does that even mean? Because that is a point of focus. Because if you look, I think the world now has 8 million people. Why do you only look at the 1%, the 10 %? Is that really... It's apples and pears.

You can focus on the person that is quote unquote further ahead. And one can argue, right? Are they really? Because no one really knows how they are feeling. The person that you are projecting your desire and projecting your insecurity to giving away your power. Because there are so many people that are, you know, less far behind, you know, that

Alex (17:21.964)
behind you. You know and then again like it's not a linear path so how can it even be? How can someone even be behind? How can someone even be in front? Like it's all an illusion, an illusion of the mind. It's where you give away your power, stuck in your past, letting your past predict your future.

Alex (17:52.28)
But what if today's brand new? What if today you are giving a brand new canvas, an empty canvas and you could start again? Like this is my favorite mantra that I live by. Like every day is a new day to start over. Like every day is a chance to start over.

So that means that every day you can.

Alex (18:24.014)
Press pause. Press stop. And you can start again.

Alex (18:34.904)
You decide the rules. You can rewrite the rules. You can play a new game.

Alex (18:44.246)
and let the game you played today

Alex (18:51.17)
Be the game of the empowered queen. Be the game of I can't fuck it up. I am not behind. There's no one to prove myself to. I am the divine. The divine is working through me. All days. In all ways. So I don't need to search for it outside myself.

Because I am the magic. The magic is working through me. All day. In all ways.

The most important person I need is with me. Every day. Because when I look at myself in the mirror, I tell her, I got you.

I got you. And we're in for our biggest adventure. And we're in it for the long haul.

Alex (19:53.59)
It's not a sprint. It is a marathon. And when we realize that there is no hurry, there is no rush, and we get to lean in the magic that there is already today, in where we are winning,

in where you are rising.

in all the ways that your past has shaped you for good.

Alex (20:25.998)
Because

Alex (20:29.752)
We turn shit into gold. Here we play our own game. Here we rise above.

Alex (20:42.882)
Here there's no space of.

Feeling like a victim?

thinking that we are the only ones in this whole wide world that has been dealt a bad card.

Alex (21:01.558)
Here we say, I see you and I rise you and here we win.

Alex (21:11.938)
Because this game ain't worth playing if we're not here to win.

Alex (21:23.596)
And we win when we don't give the power away to the people that hurt us. We win when we fall and we get back up. We win when we constantly reinvent ourselves. We win when we don't let ourselves sit in a box.

Alex (21:43.542)
when we change, when we evolve.

Alex (21:48.334)
Because when you look at this conversation as well this week about manifestation, manifesting and what it really means when your manifestation doesn't come to life quickly. So that there is an eagerness and a hurriness.

which automatically signals to the universe that you don't have it and you're impatient and you lack faith.

Alex (22:20.802)
There's this need for patience. And who says that your manifestation is not being manifested right now? Because who says that everything, all the curveballs, all the setbacks, that it's not setting you up for what it is you desire. So instead of giving away your power to the old, to the things that

don't want. Can you give your power to your vision, your dream and make it freaking big? Let it move

Alex (23:04.172)
Let it ground you. Let it excite you.

Alex (23:11.746)
and enjoy the freaking journey. This is something that I had to learn as well. If the journey isn't nice, neither will be the destination. And why? Because like attracts like energy. So when we are stressful in our pursuit towards that so -called goal, the goal won't bring us inner peace.

The goal won't give us that feeling of freedom.

Alex (23:48.29)
There will not be an amount in the world that will set you free. Because it's not for sale. It's not something that you can buy. You cannot buy inner peace. You can create it. You.

And that's a choice.

A choice to learn to appreciate life. A choice to be grateful for what you have. A choice to look at the past and the hurt and the darkness and to move on and to let it be.

Alex (24:33.71)
choose to get over to bad.

to rise up as the queen you were born to be. Your bold self, your courageous self. Brave, fierce, fearless. That's all you. That's all parts of you. But it's like this garden, right? The tree grows, the flowers grow when you nurture it.

You give it water. So what parts of yourself are you watering? What a part of yourself are you nurturing? Is it the part that you feel shame about? Is it the part that you feel insecure about? Like is it the insecurity fueling that you're doing it wrong, that you're not good enough, that you don't know enough? Is it the perfectionism or is it the parts where you are winning?

Is it the parts that are good?

Alex (25:46.978)
I'm gonna let you sit with that for a

Alex (25:56.174)
because we're often so tempted.

To focus on the bad and to focus on the things that are wrong. What there's wrong with the world, what there's wrong with society, what's wrong with the people, what's wrong with us, what's wrong with the partners, what is wrong? The thing that needs improving, the thing that annoys us, the thing that we feel frustrated about.

Alex (26:23.192)
But what if we create the new, that blank canvas? What if today we choose the dream, we choose the vision, we choose the good, we choose the potential?

And we let that move us. It's a different energy. It's a different life.

Alex (26:48.032)
And in that life, there is no space for perfectionism.

sure we can make it pretty.

There's no space for controlling.

Alex (27:05.048)
We let go and we let God. We surrender to a bigger plan.

Alex (27:15.66)
And more importantly, we get to trust ourselves. You get to trust yourself. That when you trust in the divine, that is working through you.

Always and always.

So it's trusting your own inner voice and it's trusting your own inner guidance. And you allow yourself to fuck it up because that's how you learn. You create, you move forward, you hold the vision, you dream big.

because you're here to expand.

Alex (28:00.814)
So what is it you can do today?

Alex (28:07.736)
Connect to your bold self.

Alex (28:12.664)
Will you let your bold self take the steering wheel?

Alex (28:20.85)
you get crystal clear about what it is you want. Like what it is you desire to go. Like where do you desire to go? How does your dream life look like? Write it down. Visualize it. Play with it. And what do you feel is one thing that will get you there? That you can do today?

That doesn't need to be perfect, but it just needs you to get you to move.

Alex (28:58.334)
Move, move towards the greatness.

Thank you so much for being here with me today in this inspired podcast episode. Preaching. Let me know what you took from this. And a little news update as well. I decided to take the podcast on a summer break.

Because this is my podcast and my business and I get to create the rules. This is my life.

Be bold. Be brave.

by being yourself. Thank you.